Extra Large, XL, XXL and the dreaded XXXL !!
What's up with that? Does anything really ever need to be any larger than a large? Under what circumstances does a Large just not cut it?
7-Eleven is/was one of the pioneers of the XL phenomenon - why buy a large slurpee for $1.75 when you can get 85 litres more for an additional nickel - it's that mentality that spawned The XL. Ever since 7-Eleven opened the floodgates on XL everything, everyone followed. Coffee shops. Fast food restautants. Movie theatres
The logic is sound, right? Only a fool would opt for the 754 litre bucket of cola for $1.75 when they could find enough money hidden behind their ear to afford an additional 85 litres of delicious carbonated beverage - right? Wrong!
The fact is you look like a complete baffoon sucking on these drums of liquid. If you purchase anything larger than large, you are a fool. If the straw in the drink you're sucking on doesn't even reach the bottom of the cup, you are a fool. If the specially-designed cup has a special bottom on it that is 65x smaller than the rest of cup so that you can put it in your drink holder, you are a fool. If you only paid 12 cents more for 6 million more litres of cola, you are a fool. If your bucket 'o beverage is 9 times the size of your head, you are a fool.
Trust me, just put the bucket down and go for a nice, refreshing medium or, if you're feeling extra parched, a large. Just do yourself and the world a favor and step back from an beverage vessel that is more than 65 times bigger than you are... I don't care about your health or any of that "Fast Food Nation" blo-blah-blo, what I care about is what an absolute fool you look like when you're stuck slaking your thirst from a vessel that you are barely able to hoist to your lips in order to position the 9 foot straw in such a way that allows you to suck the contents into your awaiting mouth.
Piteous. Period.
WARNING: If ever you decie to write your own "Extra Large" article and, like me, want to add some fun images to your article. DO NOT attempt to find said images through a "Extra Large" Google search - the results are frightening... Why do I get the feeling that this warning is going to cause a spike in google searches for "extra large"?